Local Bands Urge Atlanta To Support U2, Nickelback
THE GOAT FARM — Local Atlanta musicians have long been tireless supporters of themselves. Decrying the lack of a so-called Atlanta “scene” in Facebook posts and tweets, they shame fans of national acts...
View ArticleKaty Perry Taps Georgia Firm to Match Carpeting with Drapes
DALTON — Pop star Katy Perry has announced the hire of a north Georgia company to manage the Herculean task of matching carpeting to her ever-changing drapes. Shaw Industries, the worldwide flooring...
View ArticleMusic Midtown Convenience Fee Lowered to One Severed Finger
ATLANTA–Tickets for the popular Atlanta music festival Music Midtown now feature lowered online “convenience fees,” costing only a single severed finger. Concert promoters have hinted that future fees...
View ArticleWhite Blues Band Gives Crowd The Blues
ATLANTA, GA – A mixed crowd of approximately 30 patrons at “Fat Tony’s Rhythm & Q’s” was severely bummed out Thursday night after a music performance by a Caucasian Fort Lauderdale “Blues” band,...
View ArticleBono Attempts Purchase of Swiss Handbag, is Told He Doesn’t Wear Sunglasses...
ZURICH–U2 frontman and pupil protection aficionado Bono visited Zurich this week, where he asked a shop clerk if he might examine one of their finest handbags. To the singer’s surprise, the shop clerk...
View ArticleLatex Condom Manufacturer Warns Miley: “Condoms Aren’t Clothes”
LINCOLN, NE–The Wanglove Latex Rubber Company released a statement this morning which expressed concern over singer Miley Cyrus’s performance last night at the Barclay’s Center in Brooklyn, New York....
View ArticleMusic Midtown Announces Most Douche-Tastic Crowd Lineup Yet
ATLANTA–The Music Midtown Festival has announced their crowd lineup for this weekend’s anticipated event and promise that it will be the “worst collection of assholes and d-bags ever assembled in one...
View ArticleNew Radio Station Promises 50 Minutes of Music-Free Commercials
ATLANTA, GA–Fans of local car dealerships slept easy last night knowing that just 24 short hours ago, Atlanta’s newest and most experimental radio station hit the airwaves. 96.3 “The Fire Brand” FM...
View ArticleWin a Free Unguided Tour of Criminal Records in the #Atlpunoff
We are proud to announce that iconic Atlanta record and comics shop Criminal Records has agreed to offer some truly fabulous prizes not only to the winners, but to each participant in our Great Atlanta...
View ArticleMusic Lover Agonizes Over Lyrics to Send With Dick Pic
ATLANTA, GA–Music lover Strom Dagitar spent nearly an hour last night deliberating over lyrics to attach to the photos of his genitals which he posts on an internet forum. People scrolling the forum...
View ArticleLocal Bands Urge Atlanta To Support U2, Nickelback
THE GOAT FARM — Local Atlanta musicians have long been tireless supporters of themselves. Decrying the lack of a so-called Atlanta “scene” in Facebook posts and tweets, they shame fans of national acts...
View ArticleKaty Perry Taps Georgia Firm to Match Carpeting with Drapes
DALTON — Pop star Katy Perry has announced the hire of a north Georgia company to manage the Herculean task of matching carpeting to her ever-changing drapes. Shaw Industries, the worldwide flooring...
View ArticleMusic Midtown Convenience Fee Lowered to One Severed Finger
ATLANTA–Tickets for the popular Atlanta music festival Music Midtown now feature lowered online “convenience fees,” costing only a single severed finger. Concert promoters have hinted that future fees...
View ArticleWhite Blues Band Gives Crowd The Blues
ATLANTA, GA – A mixed crowd of approximately 30 patrons at “Fat Tony’s Rhythm & Q’s” was severely bummed out Thursday night after a music performance by a Caucasian Fort Lauderdale “Blues” band,...
View ArticleBono Attempts Purchase of Swiss Handbag, is Told He Doesn’t Wear Sunglasses...
ZURICH–U2 frontman and pupil protection aficionado Bono visited Zurich this week, where he asked a shop clerk if he might examine one of their finest handbags. To the singer’s surprise, the shop clerk...
View ArticleLatex Condom Manufacturer Warns Miley: “Condoms Aren’t Clothes”
LINCOLN, NE–The Wanglove Latex Rubber Company released a statement this morning which expressed concern over singer Miley Cyrus’s performance last night at the Barclay’s Center in Brooklyn, New York....
View ArticleMusic Midtown Announces Most Douche-Tastic Crowd Lineup Yet
ATLANTA–The Music Midtown Festival has announced their crowd lineup for this weekend’s anticipated event and promise that it will be the “worst collection of assholes and d-bags ever assembled in one...
View ArticleNew Radio Station Promises 50 Minutes of Music-Free Commercials
ATLANTA, GA–Fans of local car dealerships slept easy last night knowing that just 24 short hours ago, Atlanta’s newest and most experimental radio station hit the airwaves. 96.3 “The Fire Brand” FM...
View ArticleWin a Free Unguided Tour of Criminal Records in the #Atlpunoff
We are proud to announce that iconic Atlanta record and comics shop Criminal Records has agreed to offer some truly fabulous prizes not only to the winners, but to each participant in our Great Atlanta...
View ArticleMusic Lover Agonizes Over Lyrics to Send With Dick Pic
ATLANTA, GA–Music lover Strom Dagitar spent nearly an hour last night deliberating over lyrics to attach to the photos of his genitals which he posts on an internet forum. People scrolling the forum...
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